Horror, thy name is "manpris"

It always looks like fun until someone gets hurt.


A more innocent looking pair of manpris: Hey, they're just really long shorts, right? They don't look that bad? But, oh, you just don't know how bad it can get.

I'm not even going to try to hide it -- I hate the manpris. I think I hate it more than emo. For those who don't know, the "manpris" is essentially the 3/4, capris pant for men. Now ladies, we all know what a capris pant is. We love ourselves some capris ... on us. Not necessarily on the men we love or just like to look at. Which is why I have cobbled together this PSA.

Already poo-pooed by the folks at Go Fug Yourself, I present to you that horrific fashion faux pas, the manpris.

Let's start off with exhibit "A," called "Hey! They're really just shorts. Really!"



It's summer. It's hot. You're sweaty. You don't want to wear long pants, yet you can't bring yourself to bust out those 1980s NBA era John Stockton coochie cutters. I understand. You were looking for a non-coochie cutter alternative. Well, mis amigos, this ain't it. Baggy shorts I can forgive. Some what longish shorts I can forgive. But much like how the man with the combover is in denial that his hair is long gone, dude ... those are some girly-ass pants. So girly even a girly man singled out by our governator himself would not wear them. So girly it's like the metrosexual look shot to hell and back. So recognize it. Accept it. Own your manpris. Don't try to pretend like they're shorts.

Now, let me present you with exhibit "B," also known as "Oh, Hell No."


Denial, no longer just a river in Egypt.

"What? These? I just work out in these. Totally. They're fitness pants. I mean, I'll work out in anything. What's the big deal? Stop looking at me like that. I'm serious. They're just for exercise. Serious! Stop staring at me, dude!"

Exhibit "C" entitled, "Hell-to-the-No."


Also known as "Wrong. Wrong. Just all kinds of wrong" and "Oh-No-He-Didn't!"

Since this is just some poor guy I found on the internet (not a paid model or a famous person) I decided to remove his face to protect his fashion integrity. He might just be having an off day. He could be dripping in diamonds looking fabulously sexy all the long day on the regular. But that still doesn't excuse these craptacular pants. Exhibit "C" (or someone he knows) so obviously made these manpris out of a pair of normal, probably nice looking pants, hence making it all the more wrong. But hey, at least he got them tailored. That's more than I can say for the man who put the "man" in manpris 'n' mandals, star of exhibit "D," simply called ...

... "Do you really want to dress like this man?"






K-Fug: Manpris aficianado.

What I like is how no matter how much money Kevin might be rolling in right now he still took a pair of scissors to his own cargo pants from Anchor Blue ... and he wears the same pair over and over. Keep'n it real with K-Fed! That's thug-economical! Thugnomical, even!


A plea for help from Pink Is the New Blog.

I know what you're thinking, "Kevin rocked the ratty razor blade manpris and managed to bag himself a multi-millionaire, soft-core porn, pop singer!" But I'd like to think that has less to do with the manpris cut-offs and more to do with Britney's gawd awful taste in the male-of-the-species or whatever species this Fresno Famous man is ...

That said, fellas, it's just hard to make something this silly look cool, so don't try. For the love of crappy fashion ... just ... don't ... try.