These are the hairstyles of our lives

For four years now my hair has been a great big ball of curly fire, but it wasn't always that way mon cheri. Oh no. It was all sorts of sorts, but primarily long and straight. For the bored, here is a hair retrospective on moi as I debate, yet once again, whether or not to go hacking away at my head or straighting out those curls.

First off ...

The 'fro, the 'fro, burning bright ... burning with its afro light ...



I always wanted to go natural after years of having chemically straightened hair and this is my favorite picture of the 'fro. It's so huge. So shiny. So curly. She's perfect, the 'fro. Plus, I think I was lifting weights around the time of this photo, so it's pretty bad ass all around. But you all know what I look like with a fro. Let's get to the other hairdos.

Everybody do the braid!



Briefly when I was growing out my natural hair I would have it French braided quite a bit and here is a picture of me with braids. This picture was taken at the St. Louis Zoo by my then boyfriend, future ex-husband Sgt. Kabukimann. I'd never wear a Wu Wear shirt of my own volition. This photo is also proof that I used to wear cheap, crappy sunglasses that I bought from kiosks in old malls.

Don't know what to do with myself, just don't know what to do with myself ...



This is me in high school with bangs (why, why do I always try bangs?) And my hair for reasons I can no longer remember is in a spiky ponytail, piled high on top of my head. I believe I'm a senior in this picture and that somewhere I still own that sweater.

It's like money, honey



This picture is from that brief period of 1997-1999 when I thought I was the hottest thing ever. I'd just won a delicious scholarship from NATAS (National Assosiation of Television Arts and Sciences) and I had on an amazing black ball gown. My hair is pulled up in a French twist as it seems I'm a fan of all hairstyles that involve the word "French." God. I just can't get over how good my skin looks in that picture. Right now I've got acne scars that look like someone is buring cigarettes on my face. (They're clearing up though, so my urge to invest in Proactiv has subsided.)

A portrait of the young artist as a hoochie



This was back during that same 1997-1999 period where I also realized I could pull off a halter top (if I never sat down.) The man clinging to me is my future frat brother Terry. He's not really that important, but look at my hair, ya'll. Long and straight. Just as I wore it for years and years. Oddly enough, even though I despise the fact that I look cheap in this shot proving that all 19 year olds are prone to bad fashion judgement, this is actually one of my favorite pictures of myself. One: I'm skinny. Two: Despite the hooker get up, I look damn cute in the face.

Keepin' it straight



Random fact: 90 percent of the black men I met found more excuses to hug me in pictures when my hair was straight. Now it's just 75 percent. Hence proving that about 15 percent of my allure is my hair and the rest is all inside the gigantic padonkadonk known as my ass. Oh, and who's this guy? Frat brother. Don't even remember his name, but he did give me a foot massage once and that was sweet. I remember that being a big to-do since my whole sorority at the time thought I was some sort of asexual beast who had no real interest in anyone, male, female or other. So whenever a man showed up in my queue it was like the Pentagon Papers.

Curly color guard



Yes I twirled a flag and I was on drill team. Mind you, our drill team had all the popular black girls on it. I, of course, wasn't one of them, but I still have that stupid jacket hanging in the basement of my mother's house.

The show off



Um ... yeah. 1997-1999. You know the drill ... that's a shadow over my head by the way. I was not rocking the beehive.

D.B. Puffnstuff



I sometimes like to throw up the afro in afro puffs, but this was more like wavy puffs at this sorority function. Did I mention I was a Zeta? Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc. Z-Phi! OK. That's enough. I'm not really a rah-rah, T-shirt wearer kind of soror. They couldn't barely get me to go to the parties.

That said, I'm kind of missing the straight hair right now, but everyone knows me because of the 'fro. So I'm polling the audience. Curly or straight, people? Which looks best? Sure, if it's straight I'll get 90 percent hugs instead of 75, but remember, I didn't chose some of those hugs. Terry pulled that cling-monster all on his own.

Vote below!