Falling Down & "Black love is SO beautiful!"

So I was interviewing The Dalloways at Borders on Saturday. I was all exhausted because, well, writing is like my crack and I'd been up since 4 a.m the night before working on a screenplay. So of course I still woke up at 9 a.m. and still got up and wrote until it was time to go interview the band.

I got in the Mazda, put-putted over to Borders where I met the bookish Gary (lead singer) and his super hotcha wife Cortine Enns (you may know her from Tangerine or Essentials spa. She's pretty. Oh, and it's pronounced "Courtney.") Gary Enns sings lead and Cortine plays keyboards in the band. She and Gary both wore ties. (How Brit Mod!) Gary's was pink (love a man who's not afraid of the pink) and hers was black. They were frickin' adorable. But I'm, like, a cute couple sucker. Even though my love life has been like this train wreck that makes for great literature but a horribble psyche, happy couples give me hope for the future. Like when I see my homies Tim and Anne or my former editor, Chris and his gal, and my record store ace/buddy-o-friend Beaux Mingus with his superlady Ohm and I want to shout "Black love is so beautiful!" even though Beaux is, like, white, and his lady is only part black. I don't know. I think Beaux may have transcended his "whiteness" and gone to homie status.

That happens with me. My two fake sisters (as opposed to my two, actual African American sisters) are a pair of pale-as-all-outdoors, burn n' peel red-heads. I mean, they couldn't be more white, but, eh, if they found some hot Christian guy and like, fell in love I'd be all "black love is so beautiful" to them as well. It's like the thing I say.

So like, yeah, I'll have profile and a review on The Dalloways in the paper soon.

But anyway, I'm in the middle of chatting with Gary and Cortine when for NO APPARENT REASON I fell and took out, like, a guy and his textbook like I was Anna Nicole Smith all hopped up n' tipsy on Trimspa, Dom P and the crack rock. I mean, I went flying!

Now normally, I'm the sort of cat who takes a stumble and pops right back up like, "Yo, you didn't see that" and keeps on playing n poppin' my collar like nothing happened. But I've fallen down in the last year more than I've ever fallen down in my life. I mean, I don't fall down. I just don't. I trip. I stutter step. But fall? Goodness no. But that was my fourth colossal, flat on the ass, fall this year. And this time I took out some poor schmoe sitting in the cafe just trying to get his study on.

Sorry brah!

Needless to say, I was sufficiently embarassed. Not as embarassed as when the pool chair broke from underneath me at my co-worker Chris George's Fourth of July/Iraqi Independence party. I mean, that made me feel like I weighed 2,000 pounds, breakin' pool chairs n' stuff. But I was assured that it was not me and I wasn't pulling a Gwenyth Paltrow in "Shallow Hal," taking out chairs left n' right because me arse was so huge.

Then there was the time I fell, in stages mind you, all slow motion-like, at Pacific Theaters when Denise, the Big Sis, came to visit me. I don't know what I tripped on but it was "the longest fall of my life." I was trying to turn by body to keep from injuring my ankle (yeah for those two months of Akido/Jujitsu I took) so it took a little while for me to hit the ground. Like I straight up went about 10 feet stumbling before I finally hit the bottom.

Then I totally hurt the side of my left foot just taking out the garbage a few weeks before the Borders incident. I fell in a friggin' pothole in the lawn. A small one, but enough to cause horrendous pain and for Chris George (what a trooper) to run to my aid with a wrap and ice packs.

So long story short, I've always been uncoordinated, but now it's getting frickin' ridiculous. I mean, I'm sober and I'm falling down. If I was drunk it would make sense, but I don't even fall down when I'm tipsy. What the H? Any theories on this people? Any? Am I so bottom heavy now that center of gravity has lowered and it's easier for me to take a tumble? Math nerds! Help a sister out.