Extreme Makeover: Belton Edition
So, it dawned on me, I don't know, like three years ago, that I'm in this horrible rut. And I need to, like, do something. What? Who knows? Just something.
The other day my landlord asked me how my love life was going. He asked me if I needed a guy. Then he asked me if I needed a girl which was VERY PC OF HIM. But I told him, no. I was presently unattached and not looking for a man.
"Pretty girl like you! You should have somebody!" he exclaimed.
Of course, all I could think about was how I've recently lost all control over my hair and that stress has caused an unsightly outbreak of adult acne. (Not just for teens ANYMORE!) Yeah, sure. I feel GREAT. But the fact is, I don't. I feel super lousy. So, I need to do something.
I'm thinking of chopping off my hair and going with the TWA (teenie weenie afro), but that seems so drastic. Thinking about joining a gym (did I mention on my Danielle FAQ that I have a phobia gyms?). Doing SOMETHING. Learn how to swim. Go on a date. Eat a new food. (But not coconut gelatin. If anyone offers you coconut gelatin say no.) Take up some kind of dance or martial art or a martial art that involves dancing.
Suggestions? Anyone? Who wants to get in on the "fix me" campaign? Should I dye my hair again? Lose weight? Buy a new wardrobe? Start a rap career? I'm open to new ideas! (Unless they're icky or weird. In that case, no. Not your icky weird ideas that involve the pain and the botox and the quarter-life crisis.)
I'll report back on my progress in my campaign to fix me. You know? "The Big Fix for '06!" Since it's 2005, I guess I'd need that long to figure out what I needed to fix.
The other day my landlord asked me how my love life was going. He asked me if I needed a guy. Then he asked me if I needed a girl which was VERY PC OF HIM. But I told him, no. I was presently unattached and not looking for a man.
"Pretty girl like you! You should have somebody!" he exclaimed.
Of course, all I could think about was how I've recently lost all control over my hair and that stress has caused an unsightly outbreak of adult acne. (Not just for teens ANYMORE!) Yeah, sure. I feel GREAT. But the fact is, I don't. I feel super lousy. So, I need to do something.
I'm thinking of chopping off my hair and going with the TWA (teenie weenie afro), but that seems so drastic. Thinking about joining a gym (did I mention on my Danielle FAQ that I have a phobia gyms?). Doing SOMETHING. Learn how to swim. Go on a date. Eat a new food. (But not coconut gelatin. If anyone offers you coconut gelatin say no.) Take up some kind of dance or martial art or a martial art that involves dancing.
Suggestions? Anyone? Who wants to get in on the "fix me" campaign? Should I dye my hair again? Lose weight? Buy a new wardrobe? Start a rap career? I'm open to new ideas! (Unless they're icky or weird. In that case, no. Not your icky weird ideas that involve the pain and the botox and the quarter-life crisis.)
I'll report back on my progress in my campaign to fix me. You know? "The Big Fix for '06!" Since it's 2005, I guess I'd need that long to figure out what I needed to fix.
posted by Danielle Belton @ 6:33 PM
3 Comments:
At 9:21 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hey, you're in California now Danielle. Gymaphobia is a common ailment for a lot of people.
The cure for Gymaphobia is a Sport Utility Vehicle. You buy one, wake up and jog at the crack of dawn, then return home to take your kids to school in your Chevy Tahoe.
I am not recommending running because I never run, it hurts. I am not recommending kids either, it hurts (I hear). As for the SUV, if you have one then why would you need to run somewhere.
Fashion. I wouldn't change much. You've got a style and it works for you. Plus, the downtown clothing stores need a steady customer base. It's really a public service to shop there.
Your hair is awesome, it's probably in the running for the eighth wonder of Bakersfield. (#7 is the fact that Buck Owens is still breathing) The glasses/hair combo is your signature look in my opinion.
I have to agree with big sis on this one. Don't do anything unless you really want to.
If you want to feel better, do what I did. Cut out refined sugar, soda's, and start stretching in the morning to start your day. You will be amazed at how much better you will feel when you first cut the junk out. (I lie, I don't stretch, but I should) Other than that, just take some good "me time" to relax.
I think you'll be fine.
- Doug Cheesman
Oh yeah, and tell your Landlord to stop sticking his nose in your business. What kind of landlord asks about their tenants love life. Heck, every landlord I ever had was happier when I wasn't having people over. But, maybe he is a genuinely concerned person. Either way, it still sounds a little creepy to me.
At 4:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
Don't chop the hair...taming it could be a possibility, but nothing too drastic...you're known for your hair!!...what about new glasses? New glasses are always fun!
At 5:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
The little fro idea sounds fun to me, but I totally love you as is. I love the new glasses post- it works really well and at lenscrafters you can have them in about 4 hours (gone are the about an hour days!). Doug's ideas are great, but just remember he is a skinny white boy who doesn't need junk food the way most of us do. I mean we've all seen him without his shirt on and that is not the body of a junk food fiend! I used to run but Doug's right, it hurts. I had the kids and that hurts too and does nothing good for the waistline! I tried swimming and that was great, but a hassle unless your nosy landlord has put in a pool for your convienece. I hear biking is wonderful but who has the cash to drop at snyder's? I suggest a spa day. If you have the funds go to one of the fancy spas and get a deluxe package and then come home and watch some dvd's just chilling in a robe. If the cash is tighter take a long bath with candles and all that crap, get a friend to rub your back and then do the robe thing. Again though, change is fun, but you are great just the way you are!
Guinevere
Post a Comment
<< Home