Gone, baby, gone!
"Have you been sexually harassed by this man and oddly learned to like it?"
Why, Constantine, why? Why did you sing that horrible Nickleback song on "American Idol" last week? I liked it when you sang the cheesy, jazz, glam rock, Broadway crap. Why! You got me hooked on that awful show again. It's like crack to me! All the weird homoeroticism between Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell even though both of them are quite possibly the most unsexy people in the world to me. You know I can't resist the snark. And then you showed up. All dirty haired and tall and molesting everyone with your eyes, whoring in front of the camera, begging me to love you? And then you sang "I Think I Love You," and I was like "I Think I Love You" and Paula was like "I Think I Love You." And I was gone, baby, gone! But now I have to sit out the rest of my Idol crack addiction staring at Scott Savol and Anthony Federov. You bastard!
And in other random celebrity news: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? One word: Ewwwww ... watching them suck face, whoring in front of Access Hollywood is like seeing all that is gross and unholy in the world. I will use a quote I saw rolling around TV Without Pity to describe this creepy abomination ... "Dude, they're calling her and Cruise 'TomKat' and I hope that takes, because it is crazy dumb, as is their relationship, insofar as Joey Potter will now I guess die a virgin, just like she wanted."
Why, Constantine, why? Why did you sing that horrible Nickleback song on "American Idol" last week? I liked it when you sang the cheesy, jazz, glam rock, Broadway crap. Why! You got me hooked on that awful show again. It's like crack to me! All the weird homoeroticism between Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell even though both of them are quite possibly the most unsexy people in the world to me. You know I can't resist the snark. And then you showed up. All dirty haired and tall and molesting everyone with your eyes, whoring in front of the camera, begging me to love you? And then you sang "I Think I Love You," and I was like "I Think I Love You" and Paula was like "I Think I Love You." And I was gone, baby, gone! But now I have to sit out the rest of my Idol crack addiction staring at Scott Savol and Anthony Federov. You bastard!
And in other random celebrity news: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? One word: Ewwwww ... watching them suck face, whoring in front of Access Hollywood is like seeing all that is gross and unholy in the world. I will use a quote I saw rolling around TV Without Pity to describe this creepy abomination ... "Dude, they're calling her and Cruise 'TomKat' and I hope that takes, because it is crazy dumb, as is their relationship, insofar as Joey Potter will now I guess die a virgin, just like she wanted."
posted by Danielle Belton @ 10:32 AM
4 Comments:
At 8:59 AM,
Matildakay said…
I agree ewwww is the word! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes that is the oddest pairing since Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz. Isn't Tom like twice her age?
At 10:57 AM,
Danielle Belton said…
I believe it's a 20+ age difference. And as I am in that group of women who find Tom artifical and not attractive (something about him just says, ActorBot to me), nothing about him kissing anyone could ever be appealing to me.
Unless it was Ryan Seacrest. If that happened the world would suddenly make sense to me.
At 11:16 AM,
Danielle Belton said…
Actually, they are 16 years apart.
Still ... ewwwww ....
At 3:53 PM,
Nick Belardes said…
Just think, Tom Cruise could be putting on his big fake plastic lips kissing both of you right now...!
OK I'm getting grossed out...
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