It's OFFICIAL!

Dude, the WORDIES are in. And thanks for all your input guys. Some of your more persuasive criticism actually did affect me and next time I'm going to make sure I have a best esemble award (as suggested by some, but convinced of to me by Andrew Hupp). It really would have cleared up a problem in the judging (whoo, one show almost didn't get nuttin'! Behind the scenes it was MADNESS, I say! Madness!)

But if you want to see the winners on-line click here.

If you want to hear the what-why-and-how. Well, just keep reading.

* * * * * * * *
General Excellence: The Empty Space

If anyone was surprised by this one, well, maybe you didn't go to enough plays this year. Even shows that didn't leave me raving at The Space were still good, solid shows compared to other things I'd seen around town. And although they're broke (heck, they're always broke, it's a frickin' FREE THEATER), you gotta give them props for sticking by their beliefs.

That said, they had the most nominations and three out of the five best productions this year were theirs. What was everyone talking to me about -- The Vagina Monologues. What was everying going, "Oooo, you have to see this?" -- Angels in America. What was everyone like, "I didn't think they could pull that off! -- Cabaret.

And the "they" I am talking about are not the actors or the directors but the AUDIENCES I sat amongst. I heard more about The Empty Space from people this year than I heard about any other theater in town. On top of that, this is the theater that's crazy enough to give themselves awards. They're nutty and I love them.

It's not that I love them more, but for poor people, they put on one HELL of a show.

Honorable Mention: The Spotlight Theatre and Cafe
If any theater could have beat out The Empty Space for this honor it was them. Once again, consistant, entertaining, a great venue, a great theater and great set design for another group of people who sometimes struggle financially as well.

Let's face it, The Spotlight and The Empty Space are also two of the riskiest theaters in town. They do the shows other folks won't touch or are afraid to take on. They built a FREAKIN' trap door for Sweeney Todd, Sodheim's most morbid play, (I mean, there's NO happy ending folks) , and I just knew an actor was going to get decapitated.

Best Production: "Angels In America"

This was a pretty much "well, duh" for me. I mean, if you read my review I'd already pretty much given Angels the award. It was, by far, THE BEST THING I SAW ALL YEAR. And I stand by it. Best acting. Best direction. And man, did Hal and The Empty Space do a whole lot with a lotta nothing. I'm looking forward to part two. Hell, I would have sat there another THREE HOURS just to see part two. I mean, seriously, I'd watch Angels as a six hour play. I don't know if the actors could handle it, but I would watch it, mos def!

Best Director: Hal Friedman, "Angels In America"

With the exception of one play that shall remain nameless I liked everything Hal directed this year, but once again, this was a "well, duh." Angels, in my opinion, was the best show of the year, so naturally, I had to give props to the director.

Honorable Mention: Roger Mathey and Ashley Bertz.
Mathey put on some great plays and you'll find out why Ashley almost beat out Hal as you read further.

Best Production No One Saw: "A Few Good Men"

I will never get over why no one saw this. I mean, really Bakersfield, what the hell? Sure, you could rent the Tom Cruise film at Blockbuster, but it started out as a play and the lighting was visual poetry. Roger, you did a great job. I saw it. It was outstanding. Another case of someone doing so much with so little. Doug Cheesman was scary (as opposed as being funny) and the ensemble was fab. Why, Bakersfield? Why?

Best Musical: "Into the Woods"

A shout has to go to all the other musicals nominated. You were all good in your own special and perfect way. That said, I LOVED INTO THE WOODS SO MUCH I SAW IT TWICE. And it was the only play I saw twice. I dragged my friends to it. I told everyone to go see it. For once (which is often a problem becacuse there are so few people to pull from) the WHOLE CAST COULD SING. Which is good for a Sondhiem play because it's all singing. And yet another play by Hal Friedman I liked. And I can rave more (believe me, I can, I felt really strongly about this one), but I'm going to stop and let the fact that they had sooo many nominations speak for itself.)

Honorable mention: Cabaret and Beauty & the Beast
Great show. David, Hal's cast just out sung yours. Otherwise, GREAT SHOW. I mean, Sheila brought a new dimension to Sally Bowles. Mostly played by a younger actress, the fact that Shelia was more mature gave the role a different feeling. Her desperation to stay on the stage, her need for the abortion, all became even more clear in the life of a woman who should be at an age where she should be trying to do something else, but just can't give up what she loves.

As for B&B, it's my favorite Disney musical. I mean, it's as simple as that. It just didn't run as long so not as nearly many people got to see it. But I know it was expensive to put on, as all shows are at the Harvey, but that would have been packed every night for a month if they could have had it run more than three days.

Best Drama: "The Vagina Monologues," (The Empty Space)

Although I heard a few grumblings from purists, over all nearly ever person I met that saw Ashley Bertz's version of "The Vagina Monologues" said, "Damn, that was so much better that some heifer standing there and reading to me for two hours." If I'd (dur) put in an ensemble award, they would have won it. People can debate whether women in fishnets going all "Cabaret" was provocative or set back the feminist movement. Who gives a crap? It was entertaining. I'm a feminist. Two of my closest friends are lesbians and one saw the Eve Ensler version. And you know what? They thought Ashley's was just as good, if not better.

And not knock to Ensler because I think she wrote a great play, but I still think the reason she shut down Ashley's LA production was because (gasp) her version was more accesible to the masses. And I'm all for an artist wanting to protect her work, but still, "why the hating Eve? Why? You'll still get your money. You let Cher do the dang Vagina Monologues. C'mon! It was time for something new. You've got a new play going anyway." But eh, this is what happens when you try to funk up someone's play when the playwrite is still living.

Honorable Mention: Angels In America
Um. I couldn't let you win everything no matter how much I loved you. Man, that's a good play.

Best Comedy: "Love, Sex, and the IRS"

Yeah, this was the comedy so good I ALMOST saw it twice. (I got busy reviewing other plays and never got to make it back.) This is also the play where I totally fell in love with Jason Gonzales. For weighing, like, 90 pounds, he's got gravitas. And Alana Peck, girl, you must have had bruises because she did the best pratfalls and was hilarioius. The set was funky. Roger Mathey did a great job directing. The audience really felt in on the action and next to "Visiting Mr. Green," I thought it was the BCT's best show.

Best Original or Adapted work: "Hatikvah," Hal Friedman

I'll let WOTS say on this speak for it: "Even Chris Page liked it!" That and nearly all of you who emailed thought this was the best. Hal actually took it out to LA this year, so another kudo to Hal.

Best Actor: John Patrick Wells as Prior, "Angels In America"

Honestly, this should be an award for both John and Brian Sivesind, but I had to pick one. Best show of the season and they were both great.

Honorable Mention: Doug Cheesman
When I was in the hospital this September to cheer myself up I'd think about Doug in white face singing, "Why are you sitting alone in your room? Come here the music play! Life is a Cabaret old chum. Come to the Cabaret."

Best Actress: Monique Gomez as The Witch, "Into the Woods"

Um, yeah. It's no secret. I think Monique is the best actress in town. So, yeah, if you want to go to battle with me on that -- BRING IT ON! She's one of the main reasons why I saw "Into the Woods" twice.

Honorable Mention: Jenny Hatzman
It was good to see Jenny in a difficult role that required her (finally) to do more than look cute. She was brilliant and if it weren't for my love of Monique in "Into the Woods" I would have gave this award to her.

Best Supporting Actor: Doug Cheesman as MC Lt. Kendrick, "A Few Good Men"

Scary! He was scary! And he was good. And I don't know why people didn't see this play. If they saw it, they'd know why he won.

Honorable Mention: Joe Cannon
Dude, you and Monique and the choreography were the only things I liked in "Jesus Christ Superstar" at The Spotlight. I'm not going to repeat what I said in the review. You all read it. You made the show, buddy. But Doug was good in a great show. You were good in a mediocre one. Gotta go with the good show.

Best Supporting Actress: Tracy Herda as Cybil, "The Altruists"

Yet again, WHY DID NO ONE SEE THIS? The play was hilarious and Tracy, well, I just didn't expect that from the girl I rent videos from at Blockbuster. Yeah Tracy!

Honorable Mention: Elisabeth Lepine
You're funny. You're really, really funny. You're like a Bugs Bunny cartoon on crack in "Much Ado About Nothing."

Best Actor in a Musical Performance: Ken Burdick as Sweeney Todd, "Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street"

Yeah. No brainer. Although I loved all the other nominees, Ken kicked ass as Sweeney Todd. He can sing, he was creepy, he gave the role depth and intense sorrow. Almost saw this show twice too. Still have the score stuck in my head.

Best Actress in a Musical Performance: Monique Gomez as The Witch, "Into the Woods"

OK. Don't make me have to repeat myself: BEST ACTRESS IN TOWN. I mean, she was the only thing I liked in "The Play that Shall Remain Nameless." So, yeah. Don't agree with me -- BRING IT ON!

Best Actor in a Comedic Performance: Jason Gonzales as Jon Trachtman, "Love, Sex, and the IRS"

Funny as hell. See best comedy for more.

Best Actress in a Comedic Performance: Rosie Ayala as Mauriel Tate, "Plaza Suite"

She too. FUNNY AS HELL! Loved her in Plaza Suite. Her spot in that Neil Simon play (and I'm biased agaisnt Neil Simon plays because, dare I say it, I hate them). So the fact that she was undeniably good in something by a writer I loathe says a lot.

Honorable mention: Alana Peck and Monique Gomez
Alana, great. You know why you're great. You were the personification of Three's Company in a bell bottom jumpsuit. As for Monique. I couldn't give you all the awards. Besides, you were in "The Play that Shall Remain Nameless." I'm sorry.

Breakthrough Performance: Mylum Nicholson, "The Songs For A New World"

Dude. Like, dude! Dude! I mean, "King of the World" I was like straight up crying like mad crazy when he broke out of those chains. Great performance for a dude who came out of nowhere. And "Steam Train?" When you did the "play on, pop ya collar" you had me and my sister rolling! I mean, you could have sang every song in "Songs For A New World" and that thing might have had a shot at best musical.

Honorable mention: The three women I nominated -- Guinevere Park-Hall, Julia Heatherwick and Colette Masla
Park-Hall reminded me of my best friend Michelle in "Stop Kiss" with her quirkiness, then touched me with her vulnerablitly. Julia, I laughed my ass off during your segement in "The Vaginas," and Colette, I'm telling you, I truly felt PHYSICAL PAIN when you read your monologue. I mean, I was hurting, it felt so real. This truly was the hardest catagory to pick from. I wanted you all to get Wordies. Hell, I might still give all of you Wordies. You all were THAT FRICKIN' GOOD!

Best Original Music: The score to "Spider Baby: The Musical" by Enrique Acosta, Brent Simms and Lorien Patton

They wrote their own score to a B-movie. A score. Not one song. Not background music. A full score with lyrics. I could not ignore this.

Best Music Orchestration/Production: "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat," Bakersfield Music Theatre

Did I ever mention how much I hate Andrew Lloyd Webber? I do. And I make jokes about this play. I do. But that was some DAMN GOOD orchestration. So the music and children's chorus? The bomb!

Best Duet/Solo Performance: "Agony," Ken Burdick and Greg Ramsdell for "Into the Woods" and "I Don't Care," Doug Cheesman for "Cabaret"

My first official tie because one: I am unashamed in my love for "Into the Woods" and two: I am unashamed in my love of Doug Cheesman's performance in Cabaret. Like, if Angels In America hadn't come out, you would have won best actor. That said, I loved his rendition of "I Don't Care" and pretty much every number he sang. As for "Agony," what can I tell you. I saw the play twice and that was one of the reason's why.

Honorable Mention: "King of the World," Mylum Nicholson
For reason, see "Breakthrough performance."

Best Choreographed Sequence for the Stage: The "Crucifixion" scene from "Jesus Christ Superstar," The Spotlight Theatre

Visual poetry. Enough said. My best friend who can sing the ENTIRE score of JC Superstar thought this was the best thing in the play and she hated the play.

Honorable Mention: The Death of Caesar
Actors going in slo-mo. Red lights to symbolize blood. You came "this close" to beating out "The Crucifixion."

Best Choreography: "Beauty and the Beast" (Brent Rochon and Sarah Giorgis)

Another hard choice. (God, were any of them easy?) But this won from how they handled the "Gaston" song and "Be Our Guest." It had to be hard coordinating all those spinning dishes, utensils and napkin rings, because it was beautiful, organized CHAOS.

Honorable Mention: "Jesus Christ Superstar" (Monique Gomez)
Next to the play "That Shall Remain Nameless," this had the best choreography. But to repeat myself, Monique, I can't give you all the awards.

Best Lighting: "A Few Good Men," The Spotlight Theater

Two words: vivsual POETRY.

Honorable Mention: "On the Verge"
Hated the play, loved the lighting!

Best Original Set Design: "Teatro Bizarro," Stars Theatre Restaurant

I saw them build it and the audience came. It was incredible. If you didn't see it I feel sorry for you because it was freakin' awesome.

Honorable Mention: "On the Verge," The Spotlight
Hated the play. Loved the Set! When the snow fell (because even though I disliked the material I loved the etherial quality of the backdrop and lighting) I was enthrawled.

Best Original Costuming/Makeup: Tie: "Cabaret" and "The Vagina Monologues," The Empty Space

Yeah. I really couldn't decide this one so I used the Magic 8 Ball.

So that's it. That's THE WORDIES folks. I'd also like to give awards to Phil N. Blank for Wussiest I Couldn't Use My Own Name Hater, but the HATER OF THE YEAR award goes to whoever went on that rant that was so psychotic it was funny. Plus he opens with my favorte quote from "Batman." That has to count for something.

• To quote: "You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts! Some guy complaining that the Empty Space uses all the same actors? How about Stars? All the same actors, over and over again... and most of tem couldn't act their way out of a paper bag. If that Philbrandt guy casts himself in anther one of his shows, God save us! Did anyone see a production at Bakersfield Community Theater last year?!? I guess not. So, I have to give this one to the Spotlight. Go, Spotlight, go."

• And more: "The show no one saw? Who cares? Maybe there is a good reason no one saw these shows. I didn't see nor had ever heard of The Altruists! So give it to them! I think I had a friend in it! "
  

• And then, it just got all weird and personal: "Who cares about supporting actors anyway?!? I'm not friends with any of those guys! And none of those women would give me the time of day! So don't give the supporting actors/actresses any props!"

• Capped off with: And this is my opinion and it should be LAW!

As Dave Chappelle would say, "Hate, hate, hate, hate!"

That's some serious hating. But I'm thinking this guy was joking, except when he got all weird and personal, and I'm saying he, because women hate in an ENTIRELY different manor. Plus he gribed about how the ladies wouldn't give him the time of day. So it's either a guy or the WORLD'S ANGRIEST LESBIAN. I don't know. But I'm going to dub him Hater McNasty!

Happy Wordies, ya'll and congrats on the winners!

So let's do this again. Go see plays, talk about it on the blog. It's all good.

I love Rilo Kiley

It's like sweet peppy music for the clinically depressed. They have a new album out! Buy indie rock!

TOMORROW!

Set your alarm clocks! I'll be up at the CRACK OF DAWN with The Shoopster and L-Boogie (finally gave Lisa a nickname!) tomorrow doing the Word on the Street report for KBAK's Daybreak. (That's channel 29, the CBS station.) I'll be on with The Fabulous Bakersfield Boys who are doing a special New Years Eve show at The Spotlight Theatre and Cafe.

I'll be talking about New Years Eve parties, the blog, the wordies and other random chit-chat. And speaking of The Wordies, anyone have any idea of what a "Wordy" award should look like?

Big "W"? Buck Owens? The Bakersfield sign?

Just something to think about ...

WORD OF THE DAY!!!

It just seemed appropriate since I got my first hater today! God! I'm so happy!

schadenfreude: n. Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.

And my sentence example will come from the musical "Avenue Q" since I apparently hate theater so much I, like, buy soundtracks to plays and turn them up in my car like it's Sir Mix-A-Lot!

"Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy, and when I see how sad you are it sort of makes me happy! Sorry, Nicky, human nature -- Nothing I can do! It's schadenfreude! Making me feel glad that I'm not you."

OHMYGOD!!!

I got my first hater! I'm so excited. See? It's easy to write I love you, Danielle, but hater notes? That takes time and energy. I mean, someone has to stop what they're doing and really think about it, then properly hate on you.

And so you don't have to dig through the comment thread to find said hater and my response, I'm going to post them both here! But to the hater -- I LOVE YOU, MAN! I feel so put in my place now! Way to teach me a lesson. Aaaaah, feel the sarcasm!

Anyhoo, this is from a guy who calls himself "Phil N. Blank."

(Way to use your real name, man! At least when David Zent went off on me over "The Pajama Game" he had the cojones to write it in a letter to the editor and email it to me directly to me. THAT is proper hateration, when you put your name on it and email it to, like, 200 people! Zent was all "I dare you to tell me I am wrong!" on that thing. That was BRILLIANT! But I still LOVE DAVID ZENT! Squash beef, man. Love, spread love!)

----

From my first (yeah!) hater:
So Danielle used to visit two maybe three(and that's a big MAYBE) theatres on a regular basis. Danielle also decided to stop reviewing theatre because she was bored by it (read Ms Belton's column several weeks ago on how bored she was with On the Verge) Actually the column was mainly about her trying to get a date.

Why is she writing a column on theatre awards for Bakersfield? To give out awards one must see all the productions, do they not? I saw very few entries on Stars Theatre or BCT.

As a regular patron of Stars & BCT, I am apalled that she did not give these theatres any mention. With Stars & BCT, at least they cast actors that are age appropriate, and can play the roles.

I stopped attending The Spotlight Theatre because I was tired of seeing teens/young adults trying to play adult roles (Into the Woods, Jesus Christ Superstar). If I want to see a high school production, I will go to one of the area's local high schools.

The Empty Space has the same actors in every production. Yes, they have their "token" new people, but for the most part it is the same tired actors who are not age appropriate, and have very little talent. It comes off like "Hey kids, Daddy has got a barn, let's do a show" mentality. No wonder they are about to fold.

She also considers the theatre scene in Bakersfield as an "underground". It is an underground because you & more importantly THE CALIFORNIAN decided to not write about it anymore. So where else is it going to go but underground.

It seems that Ms Belton was mainly stroking people's egos with the awards. Is this her way of making up for not reviewing theatre anymore? Is she trying to kiss people's butts because of her past comments? Who knows. Only Danielle Belton knows the answer to that.

Maybe next years awards will have the same shows nominated because she stopped reviewing shows, and has no shows to nominate. Would that make all of you happy? So for you so called "artists", why the heck do you take what this writer (cough, cough, sneeze, wheeze, cough) says so serious & personal? She has honestly admitted that she would rather attend a Prince concert then visit the local theatres. Maybe you all should be like Roger Mathey, and GET A LIFE!!

Phil N. Blank

-----

Ooooh, NASTY! And he couldn't just hate on me! He had to hate on the newspaper, The Spotlight, The Empty Space and everyone who's posted on my blog! Including Roger Mathey who he actually compliments at the end, but apparently didn't notice that Roger was all up on the blog too. But don't be mad folks. Give this guy props! That took work! I mean, you hate me so much that you took the time to find my blog, read my blog, flame all the folks who posted to my blog and diss my awards. I bet you read my stuff EVERY week just to say how much you hate it, don't you? I bet you can't wait for it to come out so you can just commence to hating? C'mon! Hating is like Chuck Mangione -- It FEELS SO GOOD! It's the same reason why my parents watch the O'Reilly Factor then kibitz to me about it! You secretly LOVE ME! But without further adieu ... here is my response.

----

The official Danielle Belton hater response:
Hey folks. It seems someone has an axe to grind against me, and that's all good. But buddy, I don't know where you got your info. I have never said that I didn't like local theater. I never said I was bored. The decision to stop doing reviews was the decision of my editors, not mine.

And at one point I was going to three shows every opening weekend (becuase about three shows open per month) because I felt that dedicated to my job. So I saw and reviewed as many shows as I could throughout the year.

Perhaps we've never met, because if you've met me you'd know that I like theater, plan to continue to write about theater and love local plays. As for your opinions towards The Empty Space and The Spotlight, to each it's own. I'll let them handle their own business. Everyone's entitled to their opinions. I liked different shows at all the theaters and quite frankly I wanted to nominated more BCT shows, but I had to cut the number of nominees. Like I wanted to give Bruce Coen a nom for "Visiting Mr. Green" a play I liked a lot, but there were so many other actors who also did great this year.

As for that column about me looking for a professional hanger on -- it was a joke. I used to write a twice a month humor column that now only comes out once a month. And yeah, I didn't like "On the Verge" but I thought it had a beautiful set. Just because I didn't like one particular play doesn't mean that I hate all theater. And to paraphrase Tina Turner -- "What's Prince got to do with it?" I love Prince. People know this. I never compared Prince to theater. How can you compare Prince to theater? Prince is PRINCE! Theater is theater. Dude, like, not to go all California surfer girl on you, but, like, whatever.

So lighten up. Why the bitterness, man? Did I, like, accidentally brush you the wrong way? Because I'm a lover. I give love. I wouldn't be devoting this much of my blog to theater if I didn't actually love these people. I felt bad when I couldn't do reviews anymore and I'm going to miss writing them.

So you can think what you want. I respect your right hate me on my own blog. Hell, I'm giving you extra attention for it! So technically, I'm stroking YOUR ego, you beautiful hater, you! After all, I ask for it everyday at the end of WOTS. Love me? Hate me? Flame me on my own blog! Or better yet, email me at dbelton@bakersfield.com!

It's all good.

Woo-hoo Wordies!

Boy! You folks are WILDIN' up in here! And I'm LOVING IT! You theater people always know how to show a gal a good time ... and I loved the "Spider Baby" and "Vagina Monologues" raps. I'm going to have to give Wordies just for the folks who flamed my blog about The Wordies.

And to answer a few questions:

• I went with the BEST of the BEST that I saw (and what our other reviewers saw) this year. I mean, I liked a lot of other shows. A LOT, but some were just FRICKIN' outstanding. So if you got nominated, like jump back and kiss yourself. You already won beause I literally wanted to give everyone I nominated a Wordy. You beat out A LOT OF PEOPLE I LIKED! "Teatro Bizarro" and "Joseph" didn't even make it into Best Production and they were both really good. That's how much better the other shows were! I liked Monique Gomez in everything she was in. I liked Doug Cheesman in everything he was in. I liked John Patrick Wells in everything he was in. I liked Guinevere Park-Hall in everything she was in. Picking folks was CRAZY hard! And Hal kept going up against himself in all his catagories. It was rough!
  

• As for V-Day women getting left out of the Best Actress /Best supporting catagory that was simply because you guys had no lead or supporting actresses. Everyone was equal. A matter of fact, I had trouble trying to decide what catagory you belonged in, since you touched on drama, comedy and even a little song n' dance. So it sounds messed up, but YOU WERE TOO DIVERSE! (I know, I know. And I love diversity!) While your diversity made for a FANTASTIC show, it also made for hard catagorization. Everyone else was either obvioulsy a musical or drama or comedy, so I guess I could have stuck you in each one, but c'set la vie. I didn't want to stack the deck, so to speak.

• As for the "why no noms for 'Hurry Up Santa'" I made all the Christmas shows exempt. It's not that I don't like a Christmas show, I just didn't go to any other of the Christmas shows this year since The Californian halted the reviews.

That said! RESULTS WILL BE IN WOTS TOMORROW! You can check on-line or grab a copy of the newspaper. I'm also going to post about your postings (my fav tidbits on why "it's no contest, my shows the best!" rants you gave.) And I'm actually going to figure out how to make your "Wordy" stamps of approaval. I mean, you need proof that you won that Wordy so you can go "BOO-YA! With my Wordy, man!" or "I put the theatrical hurting on you with this WORDY!" or better yet "I smacked it, flipped it and rubbed it down with this WORDY, aaaaaah! In yo' face, suckas!"

Yeah, yeah. I know. I encourage insanity. But come on'? What kind of theater people would you be if you weren't overly dramatic? Pretty FRICKING BORING theater people, that's what! And why would I want to give Wordies to those people? So be your drama king and queen selves.

That said ...

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Um ... The Wordies?

Yo, thespians, thespian lovers and thespian wannabes, the comment thread on the Wordies is getting OUT OF CONTROL! You're killing Danielle Belton Online with the triple, quadruple postings. I just wanted you to try to sway my opinion, not kick its ass.

So, like, I'm starting a WORDIES discussion thread and you can discuss the Wordies in the comment area ON THIS ENTRY!

But just do "slugfest, my show is the best," LL Cool J style rants, yo? Don't feel like you have to get down on the get down on every ... little ... thing. The V-Day folks seems to know the drill. Now everyone else RUMBLE, young man (or woman), RUMBLE!

One-Hundred-And-Nineteen Comments!

Ah ... The WORDIES predictions are hopping and it appears many of you have taken the Chicago-style, Mayor Daly approach -- "Vote early, vote often!"

I can't blame you. Approval is so hard to come by, especially when you put so much of EVERYTHING into your performances.

Of course, I will admit, my eyes started to glaze over when I noticed numerous entries that were identical running in sucession of each other (you know who you are!) Naughty! Naughty, theater people, muwahahahaha!

Still, I will run my mulled over, obsessed about and hotly debated picks, which you'll see on Thursday in the Entertainment Eye. I will run your picks against mine on my blog later in the week to see if we're eye-to-eye on this or if some of you will be calling me crazy (and believe me, some of you will!)

I LOVE a good upset! The scratching of the heads. The confusion. The person who just knew they were going to lose going all Halle Berry on us, all orgasmic and screaming, "YES! YES! Approval! Validation! Victory!"

That said, I will still try to catch a lot of the productions in the '05 because I'd love to do The WORDIES again next year. This is DELICIOUS fun and I love a good cat fight. The Spotlighters and The Vagina Monologues lovers are running neck n' neck for their unabashed love for themselves! Meow! "Into the Woods" versus "The Vaginas."

Faster pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Word of the day, my pretties!

décolletage: n. Etymology: French, action of cutting or wearing a low neckline, from décolleter 1: the low-cut neckline of a dress 2: a décolleté dress 3: Bust

"On Oscar night many an actress will stroll the red carpet in gowns with abundante décolletage, flattering their already alluring figures."

Three More Days ...

Until WOTS offers her official decision on The WORDIES and so far only two folks have made their opinions known. It's anonymous folks! (Unless you have a blog on Blogger.) So you can just vote for your theater over and over and how would WOTS know?

That said, final results will be in WOTS on Thursday!

Word of the Day, suckas!

Increase your vocab!

farouche: adj. 1. Fierce; wild 2. Exhibiting withdrawn temperament and shyness coupled with an air of cranky, often sullen fey charm

"Jack Nicholson was cantakerously farouche in his performance as a celebrated author in 'As Good As It Gets.'"

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

I'm from St. Louis and this classic Christmas song was in the Judy Garland musical "Meet Me in St. Louis." Yeah!

So have yourself a merry little Christmas and enjoy this parody version I made up after spending all morning baking cookies with my "unnamed bar review" companion.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Dysfunctional Family Version
By Moi

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Even though all your family does is fight
Try not to let Uncle Pete get too drunk tonight

And you know Aunt Sue always tells you that you've gained weight
And your mother's a caustic, bitter cow
But that's no reason to stop talking to her now

Here we are as in olden days
Co-dependence, anti-depressant days of yore
Drunk Uncle Pete telling of drug busts
As he sits and cuss, once more

Maybe some day he'll get himself in AA
If the fates allow
Until then we'll just tell the cops come right now
And in a jail cell he'll have a sober little Christmas now

Hot like FIRE!

Thursday! Thursday! Thursday is HERE! (And soon it will be Christmas Eve). The Entertainment Eye is out NOW with the fun game "Holiday Survivor: Still No Fun for Anyone" on the inside.

You can also read my interview with the Violent Femmes here, Word on the Street here and my review of Kosmos sports bar here.

As for you folks who want to see the game? Sorry. It's not on-line. You gotta get out and get yourself a newspaper. Like now.

And theater people! See who got nominated for a "Wordie" here! (Or just scroll down) And musicians! Your Wordie winners have already been announced. Congratulations Mission:Tonight! You won best album! Whoo-hoo!

For those who don't know and need to ask somebody, a "Wordie" is slang for the First Annual WORD ON THE STREET Awards, inspired by The Empty Space Awards.

So far, The Spotlight Theatre and Cafe and The Empty Space are going neck 'n neck with nominations! The Spotlight's shows got over 30 nominations and they're up for general execellence. Their biggest competition is the little free theater that could, The Empty Space who are also up for general excellence and have more than 35 nomiations for their various shows.

As for the best, grandest most entertaining shows of the year, director Hal Friedman goes against Hal Friedman with "Into the Woods" and "Angels In America" up for nods. BMT is trying to put the smack down with their "Beauty and the Beast" and watch those high kicks, because those heels could take an eye out in both "Cabaret" and the cabaret version of "The Vagina Monologues."

As for best actor nominations, Doug Cheesman's mischevious Emcee in "Cabaret" will try to out sing Ken Burdick's murderous Sweeney Todd will doing battle with a tag team of John Patrick Wells and Brian Sivesind -- both up for their contrasting parts in "Angels In America."

As for best actress Jenny Hatzman's Harper in "Angels" will try to fend off the competition in the form of Monique Gomez's show stopping performance as "the witch" in "Into the Woods," Sheila McClure's balls out bad-ass portrayal of Sally Bowles in "Cabaret and Guinevere Park-Hall's vulnerable performance in the drama "Stop Kiss."

And, hey! Hope you remembered to watch Daybreak on CBS-TV 29 this morning! I, of course, forgot to remind you, but I'm on EVERY Thursday around 6 a.m. (usually between 6:10 and 6:40.) If you saw this morning's broadcast you got to check out local band The Had and Been jamming with some acustic guitar and a fiddle doing "White Christmas" all Bob Dylan style. They're having a big show TONIGHT starting at 9 p.m. at Fishlips (on 18th Street right across from The Californian and next door to the Goodwill.)

The WORD of THE DAY!

Brought to you by the publishers of Webster's II New College Dictionary and The Bakersfield Californain.

debouch: v. 1. To march from a narrow or confined area into the open. 2. To emerge or issue or to cause emerge or issue

"The troops slowly debouched from the deserted home into the untamed streets of Mosul where snipers could be awaiting on any roof top."

The Word of the Day!

carrion: n. Dead and decaying flesh.

"Freshly run over by a speeding semi, the deer was now carrion for whatever unfortnate animal that would venture out onto the busy highway for a meal."

More WORDIES!

But you don't have to wait until next week for these results.

MUSIC

Local Album of the Year

• Mission:Tonight, "Zimovia"

Best Song

• Tie: Mission:Tonight, "Francis Ford Coppola" and Shamiq From 212, "Shamiq Theme Song"

Best Local Hard Rock Album

• Mission:Tonight, "Zimovia"

Best Local Indie/Folk Rock Albums (three-way tie)

• The Had and Been, "We Are the Ones"
• Printed In Slovenia (now Loveday), "And the Moon Said"
• The Dalloways, "Penalty Crusade"

Best Local Jazz Compliation

• MTKJ Quartet, "Making Room for Spaces"

Best Local Electro or New Wave Album

• Calico Sunset, "Deep, Deep Paranoia"

Best Local Hip Hop Album

• Shamiq From 212, "Antibionic: The 7-Inch"

Best Compliation Album

• Burning Image, "1983-1987"

Best Local Band/duo/group

• Mento Buru
  

Best New Local Band/duo/group

• Fat Bob
  

Best Local Live Show

• Mento Buru
  

Most Unusual Local Live Show

• Shamiq From 212
  

Best Local Music Venue

• Fishlips
  

Weirdest Local Punk Band Name

• Locomotive to the Groin
  

Most Clever Local Punk Band Name

• Militia Dethridge

Mostly Likely to Get Signed If They Ever Finish the Album

• Umbriel

Most Pornographic Album Cover

• Valet, "Park That Azz"

THE WORDIES!

WOTS has decided to start giving out her own awards (in the spirit of The Empty Space Awards, aka "The Empties.") But The First Annual Word on the Street Awards (AKA "The Wordies") are like the People's Choice Awards -- We got a little something something for EVERYBODY!

Feel free to blog your votes on WOTS's top picks of the Best of Bakersfield's talented theatrical underground. Nominees for music and superlarative catagories to follow.

And the nominees are ...

LOCAL THEATER

General Excellence:

• Stars Theatre Restuarant/Bakersfield Music Theatre
• The Spotlight Theatre and Cafe
• Bakersfield Community Theatre
• The Empty Space

Best Production:

• "Angels In America" (The Empty Space)
• "Into the Woods" (The Spotlight Theatre)
• "The Vagina Monologues" (The Empty Space)
• "Beauty & the Beast" (Bakersfield Music Theatre)
• "Cabaret" (The Empty Space)

Best Production No One Saw

• "The Altruists" (The Empty Space)
• "Our Town" (The Empty Space)
• "A Few Good Men" (The Spotlight)
• "On the Verge" (The Spotlight)
  

Best Musical:

• "Into the Woods" (The Spotlight Theatre)
• "Cabaret" (The Empty Space)
• "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (The Spotlight Theater)
• "Beauty & the Beast" (Bakersfield Music Theatre)

Best Drama:

• "A Few Good Men" (The Spotlight Theatre)
• "Angels In America" (The Empty Space)
• "Of Mice and Men" (The Empty Space)
• "Stop Kiss" (The Empty Space)
  

Best Comedy:

• "Love, Sex, and the IRS" (Bakersfield Community Theatre)
• "Plaza Suite" (Stars Theatre/Bakersfield Music Theatre)
• "The Altruists" (The Empty Space)
• "Spider Baby: The Musical" (The Empty Space)
  

Best Original or Adapted work:

• "Hatikvah," Hal Friedman
• "Spider Baby: The Musical," Enrique Acosta, Brent Simms and Lorien Patton
• "This Ain't Your Mama's Chili," Betty Briscoe (from Bakersfield Community Theatre's annual Original One Act Play Festival)
• "Dracula," David Zent
  

Best Director:

• Hal Friedman, "Angels In America"
• Ashley Bretz, "The Vagina Monologues"
• David Lollar, "Cabaret"
• Ron Steinman, "Beauty and the Beast"
• Roger Mathey, "A Few Good Men"

Best Actor:

• Doug Cheesman (Emcee), "Cabaret"
• John Patrick Wells (Prior), "Angels In America"
• Brian Sivesind (Roy Cohn), "Angels In America"
• Ken Burdick (Sweeney Todd), "Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
  

Best Actress:

• Jenny Hatzman (Harper), "Angels In America"
• Monique Gomez (The Witch), "Into the Woods"
• Sheila McClure (Sally Bowles), "Cabaret"
• Guinevere Park-Hall (Sara), "Stop Kiss"
  

Best Supporting Actor:

• Joe Cannon (Caiaphas), "Jesus Christ Superstar"
• Maurice Pittman (Mr. Lies/Belize), "Angels In America"
• Doug Cheesman (MC Lt. Kendrick), "A Few Good Men"
• Brandon Turner (Cassius), "Julius Caesar"

Best Supporting Actress:

• Veronica Stinchfield (Baker's Wife), "Into the Woods"
• Monique Gomez (Mary), "Jesus Christ Superstar"
• Elisabeth Lepine (Ursula), "Much Ado About Nothing"
• Tracy Herda (Cybil), "The Altruists"
  

Best Actor in a Musical Performance:

• Ken Burdick (Sweeney Todd), "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
• Joe Cannon (Caiaphas), "Jesus Christ Superstar"
• Andrew Hupp (The Baker), "Into the Woods"
• Mylum Nicholson, "The Songs for A New World"

Best Actress in a Musical Performance:

• Monique Gomez (The Witch), "Into the Woods"
• Candice Halfacre (Cinderella), "Into the Woods"
• Marcy Dow (Belle), "Beauty and the Beast"
• Jill Burdick (Rapunzel), "Into the Woods"
  

Best Comedic Performance (male):

• Jason Gonzales (Jon Trachtman), "Love, Sex, and the IRS"
• Richie Bench (Leeslie Arthur), "Love, Sex, and the IRS"
• Jeremiah Heitman (Ronald), "The Altruists"
• Jason McClain (Jesse Kiplinger), "Plaza Suite
  

Best Comedic Performance (female):

• Cory Rickard (Beatrice), "Much Ado About Nothing"
• Rosie Ayala (Mauriel Tate), "Plaza Suite"
• Monique Gomez, "The Pajama Game"
• Alana Peck (Kate Dennis), "Love, Sex and the IRS"
  

Breakthrough Performance:

• Colette Masala, "The Vagina Monologues"
• Mylum Nicholson, "The Songs For A New World"
• Guinevere Park-Hall, "Stop Kiss"
• Julia Heaterwick, "The Vagina Monologues"

Best Original Music:

• Score to "Spider Baby: The Musical" (Enrique Acosta, Brent Simms and Lorien Patton)
  
• Theme song to "Love, Sex and the IRS" (Richard Bench)
  
• Original score for "Julius Caesar" (Robert Chan and Joel Walton)
  
• Original music for "The Vagina Monologues" (Ben Gomez, Smith Mitchell & Steve Taylor)
  

Best Music Orchestration/Production

• "Jesus Christ Superstar" (The Spotlight Theatre)
  
• "The Vagina Monologues" (The Empty Space)
  
• "Cabaret" (The Empty Space)
  
• "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" (Bakersfield Music Theatre)
  

Best Duet/Solo Performance

• "Agony," Ken Burdick and Greg Ramsdell (Into the Woods)
  
• "King of the World," Mylum Nicholson (The Songs For A New World)
  
• "I Don't Care," Doug Cheesman (Cabaret)
• "Our Little World," Monique Gomez and Jill Burdick (Into the Woods)
  

Best Choreographed Sequence for the Stage:

• "What Are They Thinking" from "Spider Baby"
  
• "The Wear and Say Lists" from "The Vagina Monologues"
  
• "Crucifiction" from "Jesus Christ Superstar"
  
• "The Death of Caesar" from "Julius Caesar"
  

Best Choreography:

• "Cabaret" (Kelsey White, Sheila McClure, Paul Sosa and David Lollar)
  
• "Jesus Christ Superstar" (Monique Gomez)
  
• "Beauty and the Beast" (Brent Rochon and Sarah Giorgis)
  
• "The Pajama Game"
• "Teatro Bizarro" (Terri Cline)
  

Best Lighting:

• "A Few Good Men" (The Spotlight Theatre)
  
• "Julius Caesar" (The Empty Space)
  
• "On the Verge" (The Spotlight Theater)
  
• "Beauty and the Beast" (Bakersfield Music Theatre)
  

Best Original Set Design:

• "Into the Woods" (The Spotlight Theatre)
  
• "On the Verge" (The Spotlight Theatre)
  
• "Teatro Bizarro" (Stars/Bakersfield Music Theater)
  
• "Casablanca" (Candlelight Dinner Theatre)
• "SubUrbia" (The Empty Space)
  

Best Original Costuming/Makeup:

• "The Vagina Monologues" (The Spotlight)
  
• "Angels In America" (The Empty Space)
  
• "Into the Woods" (The Spotlight)
  
• "Cabaret" (The Empty Space)
  
• "On the Verge," (The Spotlight)
  

Get your word! Fresh word here!

Today's "Word of the Day" is brought to you by the letter "Q" and the number "11."

bon mot: n. A clever saying; a witticism.

"Sammuel Clemmons. better known as Mark Twain, was known for punching up his prose with a colorful bon mot. It became one of his many trademarks with his very conversational style of writing."

The Return of HOLIDAY SURVIVOR!

For those of you who remember last year, we at Eye Street came up with board game called "Holidady Survivor." Well, it's back and better than ever! "Holiday Survivor II: Still No Fun For Anyone!" (patent pending) It's about going broke while spending up all your Christmas cash.

It'll be inside Thursday's Entertainment Eye!

Also inside will be my Q&A with bassist Brian Ritchie of the Violent Femmes. It's a keeper. Chiggidy-check it out on Thursday!

Sorry for the lateness, folks

I had some deadlines to hit this morning and had to walk my beat. Please read allmy ramblings below and enjoy. (Or not enjoy, you know? Whatever.)

You've been warned

Dr. BLT's Christmas album has hit the streets. Liberals, run for your lives! Conservatives, um, happy listening. He's your Weird Al.

Taking it back to 1992

I was sitting in Kosmos (the former Goose Loonies) today and they were showing the 1992 NBA playoffs -- Bulls versus Trailblazers as part of NBA's Greatest Games. Of course for me the greatest NBA playoff game ever played in my lifetime would be the one where Michael Jordan pretty much single-handedly handed the Utah Jazz's ass to them in a hat while suffering from the flu and looking like he could simply black out at any point in the game.

And I wasn't even a Jordan fan (Lakers all the way, baby) at the time. But I HATED the Jazz (still do) so I was all about that. I mean, that was mindblowing. I mean, if you didn't see that game I, like, feel sorry for you.

But anyway, I'm watching this game from 1992. I was like a freshman in high school at the time and I loved pro Basketball. I had a major crush on Georgetown's (and later the Charlotte Hornets and later the Miami Heat's Alonzo Mourning.) I still own a bunch of his rookie cards. They're like, worthless, but whatever. I still like love the 'Zo even if he never did live up to his potential being, like, the world's shortest center. (I think he was only like 6'10" or something when folks like Shaq and Dikembe were clocking at the over seven footer mark.)

So I'm like watching this and I'm riveted and I'm wonder -- what the HELL happened to Basketball? Like, their shorts are still a little stingy in '92, but those brothers were styling. I mean, I couldn't take my eyes off the grace, the charm, the die hard competition. I mean sure, they're getting paid, like, millions of dollars, but you're like, these dudes are worth it. Look at the show their putting on! It's a work of art.

So then I thought what year did I start to hate basketball and then it dawned on me -- the year I graduated from high school and started college -- 1996. The official date of when things I once loved started to suck.

I guess I was working at Superstars at Northwest Plaza Mall that summer in St. Louis when the number one jersey we were selling out of was that of a young, recently drafted, quite possibly a gang-banger from Zo's alum, Georgetown, who went by the name of Allen Iverson. I was curious about Iverson as it seemed like every homie in the hood wanted his jersey. It was frickin' out selling old school Jordan's and Shaq jerseys like it wasn't a thing. It was crazy. But the dude had all these issues. Like he was involved in this shooting and almost got put out of school and almost ended up in jail and he had a bigger posse than most rappers. I was like, what's the deal here?

Did Jordan have a posse? I don't know. I mean, I don't think he rolled with an entourage unless you count the other members of the Chicago Bulls. And I know that Jordan was a high roller. He liked his clubs, golfing and gambling, but last I checked MJ hadn't shot anybody. He might have wished he shot someone, like those punks who killed his dad, but hey, Mike was a lover and a ball player, not the sort of brother to be predisposed to getting into gun fights.

So, while selling my like 20 Iverson jersey that day I approached this cat with the cornrows and asked him what the deal was with Iverson, and the homie was all, "I like Iverson because he keeps it real. He's from the streets. He acts street. He's a thug. I like him."

So basically, folks liked him because he was tattooed down and G'ed up. Fascinating.

Therefore I stopped watching basketball. I mean, I tried to watch it. I loved the game. NBA action is FANTASTIC! I loved Magic Johnson and Mugsy and Larry Johnson and the Knicks. You know, back when they would just beat the crap out of people to win games. I liked how Anthony Mason craved stuff in his head and how Phil Jackson managed to reign in Dennis Rodman. I loved the first Dream Team. Who didn't? I mean, the other teams would literally roll over and let them win just so they could be all like, "Man, MAGIC JOHNSON straight knocked me on my ass, Ivan! This is a great moment in Lithuian Basketball history!"

So, what the H? I watching this '92 playoffs and there's no tattoos. I mean, there's some ill-advised haircuts and the afformentioned slighty stingy shorts, but no one is worried about that rap album they need to put out over the summer. They're worried about Bakestball. Clyde (I should probably just shave the rest of it off) Drexler is trying to make his place in history and take out "Superman." I mean, Shaq jacked the title, but c'mon, Jordan was Superman, the brother literally was the first to take off from the free throw like and dunk that ball like it was nothing. He had hangtime.

But now I look at a B-ball game and go, who on earth are these hoodlums? BasketBrawl aside, it's not like violence in sports is new or anything. I mean, even Air Jordan, the picture of tranquility and grace, tried to gouge Reggie Miller's eyes out that one time. (Reggie had a bit of a mouth on him.)

But it's all about 1996-1997, man. Rapper Tupac was shot. Then Biggie was killed and what sprung up in their place was the marginally talented, NBA wannabe Master P. Then magically, basketball started so suck. Coincidence? I think not. Just as rap music became a lot of posing, basketball became about 5 percent game and 95 percent hype. Scores kept getting lower (like I'm gonna watch a 87-80 brickhouse fest.) The hyped up players didn't live up to the hype and soon everybody and their gramma was the second coming of Jordan.

I got news for folks. Um, there won't be another Jordan.

There won't be another Tupac or Biggie either because we've got Tupac and Biggie lite. Which I detest. And the tom-thuggery of AI. Why? Man, why? I'm too young to be whining about how horrible things are. My father was enjoying B-ball well into his 40s. He still watches it now, but he knows what the deal is. Keepin' it real is ruining basketball like it ruined rap music and it all happened in 1996.

Think about it.

Word of the Day, homies!

canard: n. 1. a deliberately misleading fabrication 2. a. A short winglike control surface projecting from the fuselage of an aircraft, such as a space shuttle, mounted forward of the main wing and serving as a horizontal stabilizer. b. An aircraft whose horizontal stabilizing surfaces are forward of the main wing.

"Despite the anchorman's pleas, experts insisted that TV journalist Dan Rather's political expose was based on papers tainted by a canard."

Side note: Canard has an interesting etymology, it is a French word for duck, believed to be based on the French idiom "Vendre un canard à moitié," otherwise known as, "to half-sell a duck," or to swindle.

I hate my bank

Seriously. I really do. I think the bastards are out to get me.

And as one of my editors would say, "And that is all."

It's time for ...

THE WORLD OF THE DAY!

terpsichorean: adj. Of or relating to dancing.

"At the Bakersfield nightclub, Rockin' Rodeo, party-goers were derailed from their terpsichorean pursuits when a shooting broke out in the parking lot."

JACK FROST gets "happy"

Check out me and the "flamboyant" Jack Frost from Daybreak on KBAK Thursday with Rusty and Lisa right here!

Word of the Day!

locution: n. 1. A particular word, phrase, or expression, especially one that is used by a particular person or group. 2. Style of speaking; phraseology.

"The Cajun had an interesting locution -- a mish-mash of French with a distinctly southern, backwater drawl. He often befuddled the tourists who came to gander at his museum of bayou curiosities."

Shooper Dooper Thursdays!

Hope you caught me, The Shoopster and Lisa on KBAK this morning on Daybreak! Today I chatted about local entertainment and interviewed the very "flamboyant" Jack Frost from The Empty Space's production of "Hurry Up, Santa."

If you didn't get it I'll work on getting that link for all you late, sleepy-head nappers. (How I ENVY you.)

Remember! I'm on every Thursday around 6 a.m. (usually between 6:10 and 6:30 a.m.)

LOS ABANDONED

If you checked out "Word on the Street" this morning you read WOTS' rave about proto-punk, Spanglish band Los Abandoned. They'll be playing with Mento Buru this Saturday at Fishlips (1517 18th St.) at 8 p.m. The cover is only THREE BUCKS!

And as promised here's WOTS' interview with the group's own head funkster Don Verde:

Q: How long have you guys been together?
A: Two and half years. The singer and I were writing a year and half before that.

Q: Why the name “Los Abandoned”?
A: The short story I suppose would be both of us (Don Verde and Lady P) were in other bands at the time and our bands had broken up and we were feeling abandoned. We found we had similar issues. Our band has a sense of humor. It's a joke. It's a funny sounding name so we just went with it. It's kind of punk and silly.

Q: What's with the sound? Very 80s, prog, retro?
A: We’re kind of stuck in our past. We love all the 70s,80s 90s stuff. We get really inspired by whatever we’ve been listening to.

Q: Who are some of your musical influences?
A: We definitely like acts like Blondie, Missing Persons, Cafe Tacuba and Aterciopelados.

Q: The Aterciopelados?
A: It means literally, like, "the velvety ones."

Q: What do you think about playing B-town?
A: We’re excited. I’ve actually never been there. I’ve driven by several times. All those place that not every one stops at have the coolest people there. I gather that Bakersfield is like that as well. It's a less jaded scene. People are a lot more fun to talk to.

Q: What kind of reaction do you guys get when you get up and play? I imagine there's not a ton of Spanglish, New Wave, retro acts out there?
A: I'll put it to you this way, I’m surprised how often people go, "Wow, you guys speak to me." A lot of people speak Spaniglish and there are a lot of people who love the music too. Then some will go, "What is this 'crazy Blondie Spanish thing?" We've turned out those people who didn’t even know what they were getting into. We've gotten a really good response in spite of the fact its just a particular thing that we do. We make a show fun. It's really different. And we do a good job reaching the audience.
Some of the tough crowds are the Spanish (speaking) only. They get upset if you sing in English.
So far we’ve won over all our audeinces. I think that’s a huge accomplishment.

Q: So you're really named David Green but you go by "Don Verde?" See, I figured it out pretty quick who you were since verde is Spanish for green. I have about a six year old's knowledge of Spanish.
A: (Laughing) "Don Verde." People will think "Dawn" Verde is my wife. There’s a story with that to, when we started out kind of erased our past. We'd been in a lot of bands. We decided to forget about all that (and give ourselves newnames). None of that, "Hey, that’s the guy from blah blah blah."
No, just listen to the music.

Local girl gone glam for 'Vanity Fair'

Check out the January 2005 edition of "Vanity Fair." Local actress Kelli Garner gets a full page for just her pretty little face under the "Vanities" section (page 71.) Garner is playing actress "Faith Domergue" in Martin Scorsese's "The Aviator," starring Leonardo DiCaprio.

WORD OF THE DAY!!!

Trying to improve your vocabulary since 2003!

lachrymose: adj. 1. Weeping or inclined to weep; tearful. 2. Causing or tending to cause tears. OTHER FORMS: lachrymosely, lachrymosity

"The woman mourned lachrymosely, rocking herself from side to side in grief over the death of her child."

Set your alarms!

Danielle Belton (that's me) LIVE with Rusty Shoop (The Shoopster) and Lisa Krch (we're still working on that nickname) on DAYBREAK!

At the "butt-crack of dawn" (that's around 6 a.m.) I'll be interviewing "Jack Frost" who's currently starring in "Hurry Up, Santa" at The Empty Space. I'm going to ask him some HARD HITTING QUESTIONS on how it feels to be obscured by Santa during the holiday season. After all, he does make things cold.

I'll also be chatting about ...

• Mento Buru's next Fishlips show with LA post-punk, New Wave, Spanglish band "Los Abandoned."
• Holiday lights all around town on houses
• And random stuff from WOTS!
  

The Empty Space is EMPTY!

If you get today's paper (or if you're all on-line all the time) you need to check out my big SOS on how The Empty Space is having a bit of a cash flow problem.

Back in the day (three months ago) when I did theater reviews I think this was the only theater I didn't give a crappy review to. Hmmm, I mean, I was kind of timid to Julius Caesar because, like a big political nerd, that's my favorite Shakespeare play (next to the over the top, ultraviolence of "Titus." I like my spectacles big and ridiculous, hence why I was one of those folks screaming "Gangs of New York" is the greatest worst movie EVER! I mean, C'MON, the guy built a city! It was like sci-fi but it wasn't.)

But overall, The Space had a stellar season. Loved "The Vagina Monologues." Loved "SubUrbia," loved "Stop Kiss," loved "Cabaret," loved, loved, LOVED "Angels in America." (If you missed it I feel so sorry for you.) I'm a big fan of "Hurry Up, Santa."

But as usual, I'm rambling. The Empty Space is broke folks. They're poor. A matter of fact, their just po' becuase, seriously, they can't afford the other "o" and "r." And I've got respect for these guys. Last season they put on the GAYEST SEASON EVER! And I don't know how you can possibly make theater anymore gay that it already is (happy ... gay means happpy). I mean "The Vagina Monologues?" "Angels In America?" "Stop Kiss" "The Altruists" AND "Cabaret?" There was more gender-bending going on than RuPaul playing Twister with Mario Cantone.

That said, this holiday season, lend a hand and help Bakersfield theater out. Go see a frickin' play folks. It's good for you. And c'mon, The Empty Space is the only theater in town where the actors will literally do anything, ANYTHING for a good show. I mean, there's a least one naked person in like EVERY OTHER SHOW. Guinevere Park-Hall did 90 percent of the Altruists in her pantyhose.

That's love, man. That ... is ... LOVE.

That said the 2nd Annual Empty Space Awards is going down. Watch Space regulars win some respect.

The party is going down Sunday, January 2nd, 2005, starting at 6 p.m. at the DoubleTree Hotel off Rosedale Highway. Tickets are $35 per person and that includes the DoubleTree's alleged "five-star dinner."

If you want to go, reservations have to be in by Monday, Dec. 20. Give them a jingle at (661) 706-2649. Or email founder Brian Sivesind directly at emptyspacebrian@aol.com.

Flava Flav sez ....

Word of the Day, Booooyyyyyyyiiieee!

cloy: v. To cause distaste or disgust by supplying with too much of something originally pleasant, especially something rich or sweet; surfeit. OTHER FORMS: cloyingly, cloyingness, cloyed, cloying, cloys

"I find that Christmas colored Peeps candies are too cloying for my tastes."

This Christmas -- Buy LOCAL!

As The Californian's resident fashionista I feel it's my responsiblity ... no, scratch that ... DUTY to tell you people what's hot and what's not. I'm sorry. That's just the way it is. So, since there's only a few sparce days left until Christmas I'm going to tell you who's got the hottest looks locally that your lady will love (and ladies, don't be above just forwarding these links to your hombre. We all know it takes a little work to get the hint!)

Misa Misono Designs
I know Misa. I've met Misa and this girl knows purses. You want to make your woman happy? You want her to have a fly purse this Christmas? Well you better get her the hottest handbag in town, hand-stitched by the self-proclaimed, "sweatshop of one" Misa Misono.

Misa also makes scarves, capes, jewelry and various accessories and she likes to sell them while offering you wine and cheese. (She's a classy gal.) Her next show is this Friday, Dec. 17, from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at 14215 Table Rock Ave. in Bakersfield, west of Allen and Hageman.

Need to get the scoop on your own? Call her up at 331-6057.

Tangerine Boutique
If I'm The Californian's fashion guru then Tangerine's Josie Bowman is the woman I bow down to. The fashonista of 20th and Eye streets -- that lady knows clothes. Gorgeous, beautiful clothes by big name indie designers (I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but go with me.) She also sells the wares of local designers, like local jewerly line "Luna Bella."

Bellissima Boutique
I like Rhonda Montgomery. She sells Versace. Real Versace. Not the almost Versace, straight from Hong Kong look-a-like. Not the stuff you've been buying at other places, like frickin' kiosks at the mall and still shelling out $250 for something that's not the real thing. Rhonda's got the real thing. Like, she went to Italy and everything, met with the Versace family and they gave her their blessing to sell their high glam wares at her gorgeous boutique in Bakersfield.

Located strategically at 1712 K St. (conviently across the street from Uricchio's Trattoria. Perfect for a little shopping, then a little nosh, then a little drinky-poo.

Bellissima also supports local designers like the mom and daughter team featured in Saturday's Now section of The Californian Kristi Bratcher and Linda Bratcher. They knit their own line "Oops ... I Knit It Again," featuring scarves, capes, shawls, purses and more. To get custom jobs you can call 333-1249 or 332-8937. Or you can call the boutique diretly at 334-1712.

Shabby Chic
Have I ever told you how much I love the twin Davis sisters who run Shabby Chic? Yeah. I love them. They like Prince and you know that if you like Prince you're pretty much homies for life with me. Plus I love their crazy sense of style in their stuffed to the rafters funky little boutique at 1517 21st St. They always seem to be on the cutting edge of whatever people are wearing in Hollywood. Specializing in new and vintage (or new that looks like vintage), they've got everything a retro girl (or guy) would need.

Christine's and LoLo's
Both located in the Stockdale Fashion Plaza, (located conviently near my favorite martini place and home of the hottest waiters in town -- Cafe Med) these boutiques, owned by Lori Malkin, offer the best of both worlds. Christine's is for the stylish working woman. LoLo's is for the fiesty gal on the go.

Jezabelle's Unique Boutique
Neat clothes and handbags by local designers, Jezabelle's is a funky little boutique with lots to offer. They can even give you a hot tip on a local girl who can turn your cell phone into a glittery work of art. That would be "Glitz by Whitz" by local teen designer Whitney Killingsworth. She can make everything from your iPod to your thong sandal glitter at 246-5394.

Posh
It's a salon. It's a boutique. It's a boutique and a salon. I got to check out Posh right when it opened, chatting it up with long time hairdresser Leah Little about her business endeavour at 1317 20th St. There she has gorgeous knitted and fashion items, including t-shirts with her store's logo on it. It's fashion fun and you can get your hair done there and Leah has a wealth of knowledge that only lots of studying and years in the business can bring. Plus her shop has an ultra mod style. Most becoming for its name.

Bella at the Marketplace
When you enter Bella's there's a good chance you'll meet owner Heidi Sullivan's adorable little doggy, who has its own little posh puppy bed in the middle of this high end, girly-girl shoppe. Inc close proximity to A) some great Italian food, B) a great spa -- Essentials, C) a great movie theater and D) Tahoe Joe's, who makes the world's sneakiest Long Island Ice Tea.

Bella boasts big fashion mag brands like Shelli Segal's Laundry as well as jewelry by local designer Lyndia Krausgrill and her line "Two Paw Jewelry."

The House of Talula
Say hi to Chris Embrey for me. She's the owner of the House of Talula, a rapidly growing boutique downtown featuring indie and brand labels, high end and stylish. Need a dress for a Christmas party? Want to leave the house looking good, smelling good, feeling good? Chris can help you out.

Gigantic Vintage
It's big. It's funky. It's right next door to Downtown Records on 19 Street. Recently opened (and now sold) by my homie Beaux "Radio Shack Rahim" Mingus, the shop is run by his homie AJ (dude, they're musicians. It's a miracle I know Beaux's full name). AJ also does tailoring and in house you can find vintage fashions discovered and redefined by Sabrina Ramirez, an aspiring designer (whenever she finds the time.) And you know, if you have an hour to kill, just hang out. AJ, Beaux and the gang are like watching Scooby Doo with curse words. I don't watch sitcoms anymore. I just watch them. Ask 'em to tell you the story about when the mouse got loose in Downtown Records. I swear, they make it into an epic saga of woe and drama.